PREGO*SAUCE: This song makes me MELT

YAY... I'm pregnant!!! No, not again... but that's where we're at in my story. So far i've taken two tests to confirm it and Tony (((My BF))) is ready to jump in the car and go tell his mom, but we're gonna skip that... for now at least. Because today marks a very special anniversary for me, and i want to be able to tell that story before the day is done :) So lets jump back into the story...

July 19th 2010

I took a half day at work but was still desperately waiting for the day to be over. I felt like crap! I wasn't eating, all smells were way too intense for me, my nausea was no joke and i just wanted to sleep!!! Feeling the way I did, you would never have imagined for me to be walking around with such a huge smile... it was because I had a doctors appointment. Not just any appointment, but the appointment of a lifetime... one that was hopefully going to change my life FOR-EH-VER!!! (((Squints voice))) 

I was just about done with my day when i got a text from Tony saying the car key was stuck in the ignition and wouldn't start... (((WTF-GREAT!))) We were supposed to meet at the doctors office... Now i had to rush and go in the complete opposite direction to pick him up and hopefully beat traffic on the way back to make the appointment. (((AAAAHHHHH!))) I got out of work even earlier, jumped in the car and headed in his direction.

One thing you'll come to know about me is that i pretty much NEVER drive. If I am driving, its because i ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO!!! Its just so nerve wracking to me! And because now i was driving a greater distance then i had planned, RUSHING, while feeling like sh:t... my mind decided to fucc w/ me.  I kept thinking I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT... THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE ME RESCHEDULE AND BE BOOKED FOR MONTHS TO COME... and the thoughts just got worse and more ridiculous! WHAT IF THE TESTS WERE WRONG (?) WHAT IF I'M NOT EVEN PREGNANT (?) 

I don't think i have ever gripped a steering wheel as hard as i did that day because i was sure that someone was going to hit me and i was going to lose what ever chance i had at having a baby... I'm not kidding, i know its dramatic but its exactly how i felt! I was a WRECK and like most WRECKs do, i started crying!!! I cried up until I got to Tony's work and he took over... Thank Diosito (GOD) for him!!!

PREGO*SAUCE: Somebody PINCH me...

we last left off at some disappointing news... If you don't know what i'm talking about, you can bring yourself up to speed HERE!!! So lets keep it moving and fast forward a lil bit!!!

After my diagnosis and the sad news life went on, as it tends to do, with the usual ups and downs... (((And some very unusual ones, too))). BF got pretty sick, took care of him... Took a big trip to New York, a few to TEXAS n Cali... Moved around... My circle of friends got smaller... turned 21... Spent time apart... Stopped working for a while... started working p/t again... Partied like i was gettin paid to do it... Changed my hair color/style 3.58million times... LOVED life, and sometimes hated it... all in all i GREW UP!!!

Now I was 23. I had been living walking distance from the bars for 2+ years already and for about 4 months following my bday, i used that walking distance to my advantage! It was fun parting like a promoter... but it got old. [partying] started to slow down and me n my Main Squeeze were spending more n more time together (((just the two of us))). But in hindsight, everything was soooo routine. I knew in advance what days of the week i was partying, which ones i was working, and which ones were strictly for "US." I mean, every tuesday my BF n i went to BJ's for their 1/2 priced bottles of wine n appetizers for reversed happy hour... Nothing was ever out of the ordinary anymore so hopefully this all set the scene for how unexpected the following truly was...

July 9th 2010:

Get it!!!

i'm not an app fanatic... but i came across this one and immediately fell in <3 !!!

 I highly recommend you all get VEVO, if you haven't already... By far the clearest music videos i've seen and they have some pretty dope playlists... Sorry YouTube, you are no longer my go to for music vids! So... check it out, cause even if you don't like it... no money lost-its FREE!!!

(((GAWWW just look at the clarity of those screen shots)))

PREGO*SAUCE: Not in my cards...

This morning I woke up feeling like SH:T!!! I felt overwhelmingly hungry and nauseated at the same time... but that's because I ate late!!! Don't you hate that? (((UGH))) anyway... Then I realized that I was feeling this exact same way last year, but that's because i was PREEEGGGNNNAAANNNTTTTT :D there were only a select few that actually knew about it at the time, n i'm kinda sad that i didn't publically share my pregnancy from the get-go so... lets take a trip down "memory lane"...

A few years ago i had went to the Doctor cause something was "off" with me... My monthly "visit" was more like a semi-annual one... and the more infrequent it became, the more the LB's I packed on (((eye roll))) So i figured, something had to be up.

Took a trip to the dr, had some testing done and was diagnosed... It wasn't anything life threatening but while the doctor was setting my expectations she still managed to deliver an unexpected blow... "It will more then likely be extremely difficult for you to become pregnant." (((head drop... heart break... MAJOR SAD FACE)))

Watch it!!!

Another movie I wanted to see... but didn't find the time to do so, til now!!! THANK YOU NETFLIX!!!

Who knew I could love a movie about experiments conducted by economists!!! If i was a legit critic i'd say it's "a real eye opener... interesting and witty!" 

;)

Watch it!!!

Thank God for NETFLIX!!! My main squeeze n I watched "SEX DRIVE" and this movie was an un-expected knee beater (((much more intense then a knee slapper))) with plenty of quotables!!! ["i suggest you sit the fucc back down before we even have a problem"]

I'm going to assume that since no one else told me how hilarious it was, that no one has seen it... so WATCH IT-STAT!!! ;)

Dealing with it: Break-ups...

Growing up is a breeze... while you're hitting those geber milestones.  But shortly thereafter parts of it start to suck MAJOR D!!! (((EYE ROLL))) Responsibilities begin to creep up, you're body starts giving out, and life starts to be less about you and more about those around you!!!

Now, don't trip!!! i'm not saying everyday of the rest of your life is gonna suck after you learn how to walk n talk... but i am saying mommy and daddy won't be able to make everything better... they might be able to console you and give you guidance but you are now officially responsible for the follow thru of actually making it better!!!

One of the many things that YOU will have to "fix" is yourself... after a BREAK UP!!! Everyone is bound to go thru one... it doesn't matter whether you're; taking a break, calling it quits- for good, the cheater, the one cheated on, innocent or guilty, you're going to have to make an adjustment to a routine you became accustomed to, and its not always easy.